POWERLESSNESS
Written May 2, 1989

Powerlessness is being out of the control and guidence of God 
or having an injury to the congnitive area of the brain and 
Christian brothers and sisters not giving prayerful support 
continuously. Closed head injury (or traumatic head injury) 
survivors have a terrific spiritual battle to fight. 

We can't remember conversation or what is happening around us. 
Concentration skills are greatly hindered. Horrible nightmares
creep into our minds. We may scream, fight or say things we 
don't normally say. Add to this, the nursing staff or visitors
bring their problems into the patients room or discuss negative
things about the patient within hearing range of the patient. 
Some nurses are even ignorant of the patient's problems or 
conditions.

My accident occured December 17, 1988 in Kalamazoo, Michigan. 
The driver of the car I was in negligently drove a car without 
headlights. We left before dark. I did not know the problem. 
Another car ran a red light on the snowy Dec. day. They did not
see us. We hit them.

Until two weeks ago, I've had to call every to I've needed 
anything from putting trash out to grocery shopping. I had 
nurse aides only until March 7th. How can people, who call 
themselves "Christian," treat someone in this manner?

I can do personal care; but, I can't drive a car yet due to 
the right sided weakness and memory problems. It is no wonder 
T.B.I. or C.H.I. victims give up or want to attempt or commit
suicide. Satan attacks a weak mind. An injured Christian can
have a weak mind. I know, I've been there. 

I'm, not suffering. I'm recovering. I'm a SURVIVOR!
Carolyn A. Bigler ( TBI 12-17-1988 )